Victim Blaming in Reporting on Sexual Crimes Against Women

There always seems to be some kind of sex scandal going on with politicians whether, it's affairs or prostitutes or lewd photo sharing. A you probably know, a few weeks ago Dominique Strauss-Kahn the French chief of IMF was accused of molesting a housekeeper at the hotel where he was staying. This may be the start of a new trend: on May 29th , an Egyptian bank executive, Abdel Salam Omar was also accused of molesting a housekeeper in his hotel room.

The media loves these types of stories and I generally like to ignore them, but of some reason while I was at the gym last week I watched the CNN report on the latest hotel indecent. Of course it concerns me that this type of thing happens, but what really caught my attention was how the media covered it.

While the little bit I heard about the first of these two events focused on Strauss-Kahn, his questionable past, and how this would cost him politically. The CNN report I saw on the more recent even focused on the housekeeper (though they kept referring to her as the “maid”).

Apparently, Omar called room service to bring him tissues, and when the housekeeper brought them he tried to molest her. The reporter said something along the lines of “it isn't clear why she went into the room in the first place, but when she did he shut the door, blocking her escape” (read: she should have known better and did something wrong; therefore, she holds some of the blame for what happened to her).

Victim blaming is an old favorite when it comes to assault, molestation, and rape—as well as many other crimes, but especially those perpetrated against women (why was she out alone at night? She shouldn't wear such a short skirt. She was asking for it by showing so much skin and flirting so much. And on and on and on, I think we all know how a lot more similar lines).

The next part of the report said that the housekeeper immediately reported the attack to her supervisor who told her to report it again in the morning, which she did. The supervisor is now under suspension (why not fired?). As the CNN report said, this delay could compromise potential physical evidence. It was probably an attempt to brush off the indecent or protect the hotel from bad press, or maybe the supervisor didn't believe the woman as happens so often in cases of sexual assault and rape or maybe he didn't see it as that big or a deal.

The reporter then went on to ask why, if these incidents are so common, don't they get reported more? The answer they came up with was that many hotel housekeepers are immigrants and are afraid to say anything. I believe that is probably a big part of the answer since it's true that many (if not most) housekeeping jobs in large cities are held by immigrants (many, many of the female clients at Refugee Resettlement work as housekeepers at various hotels in the greater Buffalo area). I would be afraid to report an assault too if I didn't feel confident in my English and was afraid to lose my job that wasn't easy to get in the first place. Many immigrants are also often unaware of their rights.

However, I think it's more than the simple story of a scared immigrant. Who will believe you? Maybe not your supervisor who you report it to. If he or she does believe you, then what will you have to do? I going to the police is scary, overwhelming, and a violation of its own kind. Then, what if you have to go to court with people scrutinizing you and questioning if you were really molested, raped, or assaulted (that's not to say that men and women accused of this type or crime are always guilty, but it's an extremely difficult thing for a victim to go through). And then there is the victim blaming again. Also, victim blaming is often internalized so victims come to believe that what happened to them actually is their fault. Even all of these things are still a simplified, short version of the long list of things that could keep a victim from reporting a crime.

That was basically the whole CNN report and the whole thing stunk of sexism and victim blaming—it's the kind of news story I've heard lots of times before, but it never stops angering me. The way news stories are reported on is important and has a huge effect on how the consumers of media feel about the events and the larger issues they're related to. For a person who hasn't thought about what victim blaming is or the implications of language (“maid” vs. “housekeeper”), this type of reporting sends a strong sexist message that women are to blame when they're assaulted or raped and that keeps the focus off their perpetrators, who are usually men. This type of message contributes to the attitudes that allow these assaults to happen and contributes to the low rates of reporting when it comes to sexual assault and rape.

So, why did the housekeeper go into Abdel Omar's room? Answer: It doesn't matter. No one should ever be molested or assaulted or raped. Period.

Same Old Sad Story

Last Friday a few of the other CCSC volunteers and I went to a program called “Telling Stories” at the University of Buffalo which was about sexual assault and domestic abuse/intimate partner abuse. The program consisted of an original play about campus sexual assault, a panel discussion with people associated from the university, a documentary called Telling Amy's Story which was about a woman who was murdered by her husband in November of 2001, and a panel discussion by people in the Buffalo community who work with victims of domestic violence.

The program went exactly how I expected (except for a fire alarm at the very beginning which I thought might be apart of the play until everyone started evacuating). First, it was very upsetting. Second, there was a lot about where a victim of sexual assault or domestic violence can go for help and almost nothing about prevention. Only one man on the first discussion panel briefly mentioned not being a passive bystander.

Don't misunderstand me, it's extremely important for victims to know where they can go for help and I'm glad there was education about that at this event, but it would be better for the assaults and abuse never to happen in the first place. This is another example of the relationship between charity and social justice: we need both until the actions for social justice work, thereby making the charity no longer necessary.

I want to go to a panel discussion on how to stop these things from happening in the first place. Sexual assault and domestic violence/intimate partner violence is something that's very scary, complicated, and difficult to prevent. Prevention is more difficult than helping victims after/during the abuse (though that's far from easy), so maybe it's too hard a subject to touch and people would rather not go there. A big part of it is a problem of culture, society, and gender expectations/norms and those are things that are not easy to change and the thought of changing them is very scary for some people.

Until the shame and stigma moves off the victim on to the abuser we'll have domestic violence and sexual assault. Until we stop simplifying these issues as women with low self-esteem staying in bad relationships and men with anger problems abusing their girlfriends/wives we'll have domestic violence. Until we stop shrugging and saying there is something wrong with men we'll have domestic violence and sexual assault. Until it becomes easier for victims to leave their abusers we'll have domestic violence. Until we start believing victims who speak up we'll have sexual assault and domestic violence. I could go on and on.

I don't know the solutions, but I'd like to have an open, thoughtful discussion about possible solutions.

Give the Gift of Dignity

As you all know, it's the time of year where there are a lot of opportunities to give your time, money, and other donations to various charities. At Refugee Resettlement, our offices and halls are filled with donations (in fact, it's become quite a tripping hazard in the main hallway, but we have nowhere else to put the boxes and bags).

In a few weeks I'm going to a Christmas party where the hostess asked that if we don't want to come empty-handed we should bring items for care packets for adults instead of food or a hostess gift.

One of my housemates works in legal services for the homeless. At her office, they give their clients care packets that are put together by various organizations. She said that one thing that is never included is feminine hygiene products. She also said that female clients frequently ask if they have pads or tampons. Since the office doesn't have any, she usually gives them whatever she might happen to have with her.

Even though it had occurred to me before that pads and tampons should be included in care packets, I have to admit it's defiantly not the first thing that comes to my mind. I did some informal research by going on Google and looking up “care packages for the homeless,” “homeless care packages,” and “adult care packages.” Out of about a dozen lists I found, not one included pads or tampons.

Apparently, feminine hygiene products are an easy thing to forget, but why? Maybe it's because the stock image of a person who is homeless is a man. Maybe it's because people would rather donate things that can be used by both men and women. Maybe it's because the amount of money it costs to buy one box of pads or tampons could buy a lot of mini deodorants and mini soaps. I think that aside from the image that comes to mind of a homeless man, a big part of it is the refusal to treat anyone other than the “model patient,” who is always male and, therefore, being unable to see the needs of women that are different from the needs of men.

As any woman knows, pads and tampons are expensive and also very necessary. So, my community member who brought this issue to my attention and I will bring feminine hygiene products with us to the Christmas party for the care packages. I encourage everyone to donate care packages or items for care packages, and I hope anyone who does includes pads and tampons in the items they give. Of course, deodorant, soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, hand warmers, hats, socks, granola bars, etc. are very important too, but I think it's safe to say that most people won't give pads or tampons, so I hope everyone who reads this will.

Sometimes, care packets are called “dignity packets.” This Christmas, give a woman the gift of dignity by including pads and tampons in your care packages for adults who are homeless and adults in poverty.