As you all know, it's the time of year where there are a lot of opportunities to give your time, money, and other donations to various charities. At Refugee Resettlement, our offices and halls are filled with donations (in fact, it's become quite a tripping hazard in the main hallway, but we have nowhere else to put the boxes and bags).
In a few weeks I'm going to a Christmas party where the hostess asked that if we don't want to come empty-handed we should bring items for care packets for adults instead of food or a hostess gift.
One of my housemates works in legal services for the homeless. At her office, they give their clients care packets that are put together by various organizations. She said that one thing that is never included is feminine hygiene products. She also said that female clients frequently ask if they have pads or tampons. Since the office doesn't have any, she usually gives them whatever she might happen to have with her.
Even though it had occurred to me before that pads and tampons should be included in care packets, I have to admit it's defiantly not the first thing that comes to my mind. I did some informal research by going on Google and looking up “care packages for the homeless,” “homeless care packages,” and “adult care packages.” Out of about a dozen lists I found, not one included pads or tampons.
Apparently, feminine hygiene products are an easy thing to forget, but why? Maybe it's because the stock image of a person who is homeless is a man. Maybe it's because people would rather donate things that can be used by both men and women. Maybe it's because the amount of money it costs to buy one box of pads or tampons could buy a lot of mini deodorants and mini soaps. I think that aside from the image that comes to mind of a homeless man, a big part of it is the refusal to treat anyone other than the “model patient,” who is always male and, therefore, being unable to see the needs of women that are different from the needs of men.
As any woman knows, pads and tampons are expensive and also very necessary. So, my community member who brought this issue to my attention and I will bring feminine hygiene products with us to the Christmas party for the care packages. I encourage everyone to donate care packages or items for care packages, and I hope anyone who does includes pads and tampons in the items they give. Of course, deodorant, soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, hand warmers, hats, socks, granola bars, etc. are very important too, but I think it's safe to say that most people won't give pads or tampons, so I hope everyone who reads this will.
Sometimes, care packets are called “dignity packets.” This Christmas, give a woman the gift of dignity by including pads and tampons in your care packages for adults who are homeless and adults in poverty.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
A Thanksgiving Refugee Story
About two weeks before I started working for Refugee Resettlement, a young man filed an application to bring wife and baby daughter to the United States. He is from the Democratic Republic of the Congo and arrived in the US this spring. For the last few years he’s lived in a refugee camp in Tanzania which is where he met his wife (though she's also from the Congo). This isn't his name, but I'll call him Ibrahim because it's less confusing to use a name.
A month ago Ibrahim received a letter telling him that his application was denied. He speaks English fairly well, but only reads a little English so he came in to have Marsha explain the denial letter to him. The reason Ibrahim's petition was denied was that when he went for his immigration interview to come to the United States, he told the officers he didn’t have a wife and daughter.
He explained to us that he was afraid to tell the officers about his family because when Ibrahim's brother was interviewed he told them about his wife and daughters, and then they were harassed and beaten in the refugee camp by the officers. When they asked Ibrahim the same question, he lied to protect his family. He didn’t know that this lie would make it difficult to bring them to the United States later on.
Ibrahim said that he misses his family and is afraid for their safety. He also said that they don’t get enough food in the refugee camps and he is worried about his daughter’s health. The refugee camps are not safe anymore. Recently refugees who are enemies of this man’s people in the Congo have been put into the same refugee camps. Now, there are fights in the camps between the two groups and rape is used as a weapon of war, just as it is in the Congo.
He showed us his wrist that had a big lump on it and pointed out the scar on his face. Before he left the Congo for Tanzania, militants came to his hut to kill his father. They beat Ibrahim with the back of a gun (which is what broke his wrist and it was never properly set, so it healed on its own) and cut his face with a machete. Then, they killed his father and uncle in front of him. The same group of people who did this to him are the people who are now in the refugee camp with his family.
He told us that he is so scared for his family that he cries every night. He said he doesn’t care what country he’s in as long as he’s with his family and they’re safe. He said he has no life without his wife and daughter, and then he started to cry.
Marsha told him to write a letter explaining why he lied to the officers when he was interviewed to come to the United States. This is not the first time Marsha has encountered this issue when family members—particularly husbands and fathers—apply for their family. Sometimes the letter works, and sometimes it doesn’t (Marsha thinks it depends on who is handling the case).
On Monday, the Ibrahim came in with a letter from United States Citizenship and Immigration Services. I read it and it was simply informing him that they got the change of address form he filed a few weeks ago, but I decided to check the status of his case while he was in the office. I entered his case number into the USCIS website the status was “post-decision.” I didn’t know what that meant since I hadn’t seen it before. “Post-decision” can be either good news or bad news.
In this case, “post-decision” was good news: the petition Ibrahim filed along with the additional letter explaining why he said he didn't have a wife and child in his immigration interview were accepted. The USCIS website said a letter was sent to inform him of the decision on November 18th. Since it was the 22nd when he came in, he will probably receive the official letter very soon.
He asked me to print off the web page so he could have a copy and send another copy to his wife to let her know. I think he was shocked because he kept asking me to read that his petition was accepted over and over again. He thanked God and he said to me, “now every night I do not have to cry in my bed.”
His wife still needs to be interviewed at the US Embassy in Tanzania and then it will be a few more months before she comes, but his wife and daughter will be coming to the United States.
Obviously, Ibrahim was very emotion, and I felt very emotional too. I could hardly believe it when I read that his petition was accepted because I usually see denial after denial. I know I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for this man in the past seven or eight months he’s been away from his family when they’ve been in danger, but even just thinking about it and trying to imagine it is hard.
When he came in with the letter saying his claim was denied, I felt very sad and angry for him and I wondered if he’d be able to bring his family to America. I planned on writing about him and his story, but I’m glad I waited for today because now it is a happy story that comes at the perfect time for Thanksgiving.
A month ago Ibrahim received a letter telling him that his application was denied. He speaks English fairly well, but only reads a little English so he came in to have Marsha explain the denial letter to him. The reason Ibrahim's petition was denied was that when he went for his immigration interview to come to the United States, he told the officers he didn’t have a wife and daughter.
He explained to us that he was afraid to tell the officers about his family because when Ibrahim's brother was interviewed he told them about his wife and daughters, and then they were harassed and beaten in the refugee camp by the officers. When they asked Ibrahim the same question, he lied to protect his family. He didn’t know that this lie would make it difficult to bring them to the United States later on.
Ibrahim said that he misses his family and is afraid for their safety. He also said that they don’t get enough food in the refugee camps and he is worried about his daughter’s health. The refugee camps are not safe anymore. Recently refugees who are enemies of this man’s people in the Congo have been put into the same refugee camps. Now, there are fights in the camps between the two groups and rape is used as a weapon of war, just as it is in the Congo.
He showed us his wrist that had a big lump on it and pointed out the scar on his face. Before he left the Congo for Tanzania, militants came to his hut to kill his father. They beat Ibrahim with the back of a gun (which is what broke his wrist and it was never properly set, so it healed on its own) and cut his face with a machete. Then, they killed his father and uncle in front of him. The same group of people who did this to him are the people who are now in the refugee camp with his family.
He told us that he is so scared for his family that he cries every night. He said he doesn’t care what country he’s in as long as he’s with his family and they’re safe. He said he has no life without his wife and daughter, and then he started to cry.
Marsha told him to write a letter explaining why he lied to the officers when he was interviewed to come to the United States. This is not the first time Marsha has encountered this issue when family members—particularly husbands and fathers—apply for their family. Sometimes the letter works, and sometimes it doesn’t (Marsha thinks it depends on who is handling the case).
On Monday, the Ibrahim came in with a letter from United States Citizenship and Immigration Services. I read it and it was simply informing him that they got the change of address form he filed a few weeks ago, but I decided to check the status of his case while he was in the office. I entered his case number into the USCIS website the status was “post-decision.” I didn’t know what that meant since I hadn’t seen it before. “Post-decision” can be either good news or bad news.
In this case, “post-decision” was good news: the petition Ibrahim filed along with the additional letter explaining why he said he didn't have a wife and child in his immigration interview were accepted. The USCIS website said a letter was sent to inform him of the decision on November 18th. Since it was the 22nd when he came in, he will probably receive the official letter very soon.
He asked me to print off the web page so he could have a copy and send another copy to his wife to let her know. I think he was shocked because he kept asking me to read that his petition was accepted over and over again. He thanked God and he said to me, “now every night I do not have to cry in my bed.”
His wife still needs to be interviewed at the US Embassy in Tanzania and then it will be a few more months before she comes, but his wife and daughter will be coming to the United States.
Obviously, Ibrahim was very emotion, and I felt very emotional too. I could hardly believe it when I read that his petition was accepted because I usually see denial after denial. I know I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for this man in the past seven or eight months he’s been away from his family when they’ve been in danger, but even just thinking about it and trying to imagine it is hard.
When he came in with the letter saying his claim was denied, I felt very sad and angry for him and I wondered if he’d be able to bring his family to America. I planned on writing about him and his story, but I’m glad I waited for today because now it is a happy story that comes at the perfect time for Thanksgiving.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Refugee Story One
I’ve worked at Refugee Resettlement for almost three months, and in that time I’ve heard a lot of stories. The stories have been heartbreaking, inspiring, and infuriating. I've decided to share some of the stories I've heard at Refugee Resettlement throughout the year.
Typically, the stories that stand out the most to me are the heartbreaking and infuriating ones. I think there are more sad stories than any other kind, but I would like to start off with a story that is happy.
A Sudanese woman in her late fifties/early sixties came in to file an I-130, which is a form that's used to bring family members to the United States. She has been in America for fifteen years and is now a citizen. She told me that seventeen years ago, when the youngest of her nine children was a baby, she had to flee from her village during the middle of the day. When she left, she didn't know where her husband was.
Fortunately, she made it to a refugee camp with all of her children. The woman tried to find her husband through family members and friends, but could not. After a few months at the refugee camp, she came to believe her husband was dead.
After two years in the refugee camp, she was able to come to the United States with her family. In America, she has worked hard and has almost always had two jobs. All of her children have gone through school and all but her youngest, who is seventeen and still in high school, have gone to college. She has twelve grandchildren and one of her daughters is in medical school.
A few weeks before the woman came in to Catholic Charities, she got a call from her sister-in-law (who is still in Africa) that her husband is alive. She didn’t believe it, but the next day she spoke to her husband on the phone. She said his voice was the most wonderful sound she ever heard.
Her husband is now elderly and sick (he's about ten years older than her). She said his mind is confused, but he knows who she is and wants to be with his family. Her children are all asking her to bring their father to America and she said they talk about him all the time now.
She’s filed the paperwork she needs in order to bring her husband to the United States, her husband will be interviewed, he will have a medical exam, and he will more than likely be in Buffalo in six months to a year.
The woman said she’s always believed in miracles, but she didn’t believe that there could be one this big. She hopes that when her husband is here in the United States and is surrounded by the love of his family, he’ll get some of his health back.
Typically, the stories that stand out the most to me are the heartbreaking and infuriating ones. I think there are more sad stories than any other kind, but I would like to start off with a story that is happy.
A Sudanese woman in her late fifties/early sixties came in to file an I-130, which is a form that's used to bring family members to the United States. She has been in America for fifteen years and is now a citizen. She told me that seventeen years ago, when the youngest of her nine children was a baby, she had to flee from her village during the middle of the day. When she left, she didn't know where her husband was.
Fortunately, she made it to a refugee camp with all of her children. The woman tried to find her husband through family members and friends, but could not. After a few months at the refugee camp, she came to believe her husband was dead.
After two years in the refugee camp, she was able to come to the United States with her family. In America, she has worked hard and has almost always had two jobs. All of her children have gone through school and all but her youngest, who is seventeen and still in high school, have gone to college. She has twelve grandchildren and one of her daughters is in medical school.
A few weeks before the woman came in to Catholic Charities, she got a call from her sister-in-law (who is still in Africa) that her husband is alive. She didn’t believe it, but the next day she spoke to her husband on the phone. She said his voice was the most wonderful sound she ever heard.
Her husband is now elderly and sick (he's about ten years older than her). She said his mind is confused, but he knows who she is and wants to be with his family. Her children are all asking her to bring their father to America and she said they talk about him all the time now.
She’s filed the paperwork she needs in order to bring her husband to the United States, her husband will be interviewed, he will have a medical exam, and he will more than likely be in Buffalo in six months to a year.
The woman said she’s always believed in miracles, but she didn’t believe that there could be one this big. She hopes that when her husband is here in the United States and is surrounded by the love of his family, he’ll get some of his health back.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Technology and poverty
I hope this is the last time I write about computers and internet access. I've done some reflecting about how computers connect to simplicity and poverty.
Technology has the ability to both simplify and complicate our lives. Lately, I've seen how complicated life can be without a computer and internet access and how complicated it can potentially be to attain these things. Aside from how frustrating it's been to actually attain a working computer, it's hard to live in a new city and not have internet access to do simple things like find directions and what times the metro runs.
What if I didn't have parents who could and were willing to buy me a new computer as a graduation gift? Would I be able to apply to graduate schools with a 17 minute time limit at the library? No. What if I'd never had a computer? I'm sure I could have gotten through college using the library computers that don't have a time limit, but it certainly would have been more complicated.
Yesterday I had a one-on-one meeting with one of the support people for CCSC and we talked about how someone not having a computer can contribute to keeping them in the cycle of poverty. In most schools there are computer labs for students to use, but they probably have limited hours that may be at the same time a student wants to socialize with their friends, so if they don't have a computer at home doing their homework can be a challenge. Then, we talked about how many job applications are online. Some people might not be able to get to the library use the internet to apply, and then there is the issue of the time limit (though I'm sure many libraries are more generous with their time limits than the library that is the closest to my house). If someone already had a job, but maybe it was a minimum wage job and their work schedule prevented them from going to the library to use the internet, they would have that significant barrier to finding a better job.
There are so many obstacles to education and employment that I've thought about before (previous education, child care, transportation, etc.), but this is really the first time I've thought about technology, or rather the lack of technology, being a barrier. I guess I've always been privileged enough that I've never had to worry about what it would be like not to have a computer before.
I find it interesting how the simple lack of a computer is tied into three of the four CCSC pillars. The obvious one are simplicity, but there is also social justice and community (I relied on my community members to borrow their computers while I didn't have one). Really, it's tied to spirituality too: I wasn't able to research for the spirituality night I organized for my community and it was kind of a flop.
Technology has the ability to both simplify and complicate our lives. Lately, I've seen how complicated life can be without a computer and internet access and how complicated it can potentially be to attain these things. Aside from how frustrating it's been to actually attain a working computer, it's hard to live in a new city and not have internet access to do simple things like find directions and what times the metro runs.
What if I didn't have parents who could and were willing to buy me a new computer as a graduation gift? Would I be able to apply to graduate schools with a 17 minute time limit at the library? No. What if I'd never had a computer? I'm sure I could have gotten through college using the library computers that don't have a time limit, but it certainly would have been more complicated.
Yesterday I had a one-on-one meeting with one of the support people for CCSC and we talked about how someone not having a computer can contribute to keeping them in the cycle of poverty. In most schools there are computer labs for students to use, but they probably have limited hours that may be at the same time a student wants to socialize with their friends, so if they don't have a computer at home doing their homework can be a challenge. Then, we talked about how many job applications are online. Some people might not be able to get to the library use the internet to apply, and then there is the issue of the time limit (though I'm sure many libraries are more generous with their time limits than the library that is the closest to my house). If someone already had a job, but maybe it was a minimum wage job and their work schedule prevented them from going to the library to use the internet, they would have that significant barrier to finding a better job.
There are so many obstacles to education and employment that I've thought about before (previous education, child care, transportation, etc.), but this is really the first time I've thought about technology, or rather the lack of technology, being a barrier. I guess I've always been privileged enough that I've never had to worry about what it would be like not to have a computer before.
I find it interesting how the simple lack of a computer is tied into three of the four CCSC pillars. The obvious one are simplicity, but there is also social justice and community (I relied on my community members to borrow their computers while I didn't have one). Really, it's tied to spirituality too: I wasn't able to research for the spirituality night I organized for my community and it was kind of a flop.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Good news
I'm very happy to write that I now have a computer that both works and goes on the internet. I'm also happy to say that I've spent the last hour working on graduate school applications (well, probably more like fifty minutes because of a Facebook check and a search for images of the hair cut I want to get).
Now, I need to go home and go to bed, but I hope to be back to the world wide web soon.
Now, I need to go home and go to bed, but I hope to be back to the world wide web soon.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
A Sad Technology Tale... or maybe it's just frustrating
What I lack in drama with my community, I more than make up for in computer drama.
My computer was officially pronounced dead about a month ago. Fortunately, my parents were waiting for me to need something to buy me a college graduation gift, so they bought me a new computer. However, the computer arrived and would not go on the Internet, thereby rendering it useless since I didn't have any kind of word processing until I could go online and download one. After trying several different wireless networks, I called tech support. An hour conversation later and after changing some settings and doing a system restore on my computer with the guidance of the tech support guy (even though hadn't changed anything since getting the computer), my computer still would not go online.
Now, I am at the Buffalo library and am finally able to go online. I'm relieved to be online and I'm currently downloading a word processor, but I'm not sure why my computer will ONLY go online at the library. I have a feeling my computer drama isn't over, but at this point all I can do is wait until I have a chance to try every wireless network in town.
My computer was officially pronounced dead about a month ago. Fortunately, my parents were waiting for me to need something to buy me a college graduation gift, so they bought me a new computer. However, the computer arrived and would not go on the Internet, thereby rendering it useless since I didn't have any kind of word processing until I could go online and download one. After trying several different wireless networks, I called tech support. An hour conversation later and after changing some settings and doing a system restore on my computer with the guidance of the tech support guy (even though hadn't changed anything since getting the computer), my computer still would not go online.
Now, I am at the Buffalo library and am finally able to go online. I'm relieved to be online and I'm currently downloading a word processor, but I'm not sure why my computer will ONLY go online at the library. I have a feeling my computer drama isn't over, but at this point all I can do is wait until I have a chance to try every wireless network in town.
Monday, October 11, 2010
A good situation, but not a good story
On Thursday of this coming week, we have our fall retreat that focuses on community. I'm excited to get away and have a retreat. We've been told that in the past, many communities have started having some major issues at this point and that this retreat can be both stressful and a good chance to work out problems.
A part of me wishes I could tell you about some kind of community conflict that came up in the first two months (almost) of living together that we pulled together and talked over using non-violent communication and resolved our problem in a way that was good for everyone. I have no such story. So far, everything in our house has been going remarkably well. I'm very grateful to have housemates/community members that I really like, feel comfortable around, and get along with, but I doesn't make a very good story. Stories in which everything goes well and are happy are not interesting.
I would, of course, rather have a good community than a good story, but I'm a writer and I like stories. I also know that it's still the beginning of our year together, so a good story could be in the future. Still, as long as we keep up with the patients and honesty we've started with in our house, we may end up nipping any potential story in the bud, which will be great for the community and the mental/emotional well-being of everyone in the community, but unfortunate for my writing.
A part of me wishes I could tell you about some kind of community conflict that came up in the first two months (almost) of living together that we pulled together and talked over using non-violent communication and resolved our problem in a way that was good for everyone. I have no such story. So far, everything in our house has been going remarkably well. I'm very grateful to have housemates/community members that I really like, feel comfortable around, and get along with, but I doesn't make a very good story. Stories in which everything goes well and are happy are not interesting.
I would, of course, rather have a good community than a good story, but I'm a writer and I like stories. I also know that it's still the beginning of our year together, so a good story could be in the future. Still, as long as we keep up with the patients and honesty we've started with in our house, we may end up nipping any potential story in the bud, which will be great for the community and the mental/emotional well-being of everyone in the community, but unfortunate for my writing.
Have ballot. Will vote, but for who and what?
Last week my absentee ballot arrived in the mail. Voting is something I've always taken seriously: I've voted every time I've been able to since I was 18 and I've always been fairly well educated about the candidates and everything else that's on the ballot. This time is different. I got my ballot and realized I have no idea who I'm voting for--all I know is who I'm not voting for.
When I voted by absentee ballot last fall, I already knew the issues pretty well before I left Maine and kept up with everything on the internet while at school in North Carolina. Of course, this year my access to the internet has been very limited. Since my computer is still broken, my internet access will continue to be restricted to when I can go to an internet cafe with a community member's computer or to 17 minute time slots at the library. Perhaps I could devote 17 minutes to each candidate and if they don't win me over in that 17 minutes, they don't get my vote.
I wonder, who will do the most for the poor? for the disabled? women? children? education? the environment? all the other things I care about? I wonder if I can find out the answers in 17 minutes. I doubt it, and if I do I'm afraid I might not like the answers I get.
When I voted by absentee ballot last fall, I already knew the issues pretty well before I left Maine and kept up with everything on the internet while at school in North Carolina. Of course, this year my access to the internet has been very limited. Since my computer is still broken, my internet access will continue to be restricted to when I can go to an internet cafe with a community member's computer or to 17 minute time slots at the library. Perhaps I could devote 17 minutes to each candidate and if they don't win me over in that 17 minutes, they don't get my vote.
I wonder, who will do the most for the poor? for the disabled? women? children? education? the environment? all the other things I care about? I wonder if I can find out the answers in 17 minutes. I doubt it, and if I do I'm afraid I might not like the answers I get.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Invincibly and Ardently in Love with Our Enemies
During September I started each day by reading the morning prayer, the daily bible readings, and the meditation of the day in the “Magnificat.” I found that when I started the day in this way, I was able to keep God more in the forefront of my mind throughout the rest of the day. Of all the meditations, there was one that I kept thinking about for a few days after I read it.
The Gospel reading on the day that I read this meditation was Luke 6:27-38 which is the reading about loving our enemies and treating people as we wish to be treated. The meditation was written by Father Henri-Dominique Lacordaire, a Dominican preacher from the mid-1800s. Father Lacordaire wrote about love in a way that was compelling to me. He wrote, “[f]or the peculiar quality of love is to unite those who love one another, to blend their thoughts, their desires, their sentiments, all the expressions, and all the blessings of their life, and to penetrate even to the substance of the loved one, in order to cleave to it with a force as invincible as it is ardent.”
The language Father Lacordaire uses says something beautiful about love whether it’s romantic love, love between family members, love for God, or God’s love for us. As the Gospel says, it is easy for people to love their children (or parents, partners, close friends, etc.) and to give their children good gifts; however, this isn’t the kind of love we’re especially called to and the kind of love that makes the world better.
The ideas about what love does and means in this meditation made me think a lot about if everyone took God’s call to love our enemies seriously. What if we had the kind of love Father Lacordaire describes for our enemies? What about the poor? The oppressed? The forgotten?
Whether we realize it or not, we make people who are poor and people who are oppressed our enemies. If not conscientiously, we make them our enemies by our actions—or inaction—and in our policies, laws, and social practices that perpetuate poverty and keep oppressed peoples and groups oppressed.
Many people worship God and think to “cleave” to God as the meditation suggests happens in love, but how many of us think to cleave ourselves to the poor, oppressed, and forgotten? Isn’t God in the poor and oppressed? What would the world look like if we really loved who God called us to love and as God calls us to love them? How could we possibly continue to oppress the oppressed if we shared their “substance”? If we got to know their experiences, pains, joys, struggles, thoughts, and desires?
To love the poor and oppressed as God calls means more than to give a gift at Christmas to a child in need or put together a gift basket or volunteer a day a month at the local soup kitchen or give annually to a charitable cause. It even means more—much more—than doing a year of service. All of these things are good and a step in the right direction, but I’m not sure they’re love. Of course, it isn’t easy to love the poor and oppressed because we have to look at our own lives and behaviors. Even harder, once we share their substance, we’ll have to change.
Maybe we believe we already know the substance of the poor and oppressed. Maybe we believe we already know what they want and what they need. But, how can we really know until we’ve stopped judging and truly gotten to know people? Until we’ve leaned about their lives on a deeper level? Until we’ve united ourselves to them? The more you get to know and really understand someone, the harder it is for you to make them your enemy.
Here is another question—what if we really don’t love the poor, the oppressed, and the forgotten? Perhaps we can lean to love them by working backwards to understand their substance, hopes, thoughts, and struggles, as well as the blessings of their lives. Maybe in coming to understand these things by living in solidarity with the poor we may come to love them and to see that those who were once our enemies are now people we love with a love that is both “invincible” and “ardent.” If we do this, how can we possibly be the same?
The Gospel reading on the day that I read this meditation was Luke 6:27-38 which is the reading about loving our enemies and treating people as we wish to be treated. The meditation was written by Father Henri-Dominique Lacordaire, a Dominican preacher from the mid-1800s. Father Lacordaire wrote about love in a way that was compelling to me. He wrote, “[f]or the peculiar quality of love is to unite those who love one another, to blend their thoughts, their desires, their sentiments, all the expressions, and all the blessings of their life, and to penetrate even to the substance of the loved one, in order to cleave to it with a force as invincible as it is ardent.”
The language Father Lacordaire uses says something beautiful about love whether it’s romantic love, love between family members, love for God, or God’s love for us. As the Gospel says, it is easy for people to love their children (or parents, partners, close friends, etc.) and to give their children good gifts; however, this isn’t the kind of love we’re especially called to and the kind of love that makes the world better.
The ideas about what love does and means in this meditation made me think a lot about if everyone took God’s call to love our enemies seriously. What if we had the kind of love Father Lacordaire describes for our enemies? What about the poor? The oppressed? The forgotten?
Whether we realize it or not, we make people who are poor and people who are oppressed our enemies. If not conscientiously, we make them our enemies by our actions—or inaction—and in our policies, laws, and social practices that perpetuate poverty and keep oppressed peoples and groups oppressed.
Many people worship God and think to “cleave” to God as the meditation suggests happens in love, but how many of us think to cleave ourselves to the poor, oppressed, and forgotten? Isn’t God in the poor and oppressed? What would the world look like if we really loved who God called us to love and as God calls us to love them? How could we possibly continue to oppress the oppressed if we shared their “substance”? If we got to know their experiences, pains, joys, struggles, thoughts, and desires?
To love the poor and oppressed as God calls means more than to give a gift at Christmas to a child in need or put together a gift basket or volunteer a day a month at the local soup kitchen or give annually to a charitable cause. It even means more—much more—than doing a year of service. All of these things are good and a step in the right direction, but I’m not sure they’re love. Of course, it isn’t easy to love the poor and oppressed because we have to look at our own lives and behaviors. Even harder, once we share their substance, we’ll have to change.
Maybe we believe we already know the substance of the poor and oppressed. Maybe we believe we already know what they want and what they need. But, how can we really know until we’ve stopped judging and truly gotten to know people? Until we’ve leaned about their lives on a deeper level? Until we’ve united ourselves to them? The more you get to know and really understand someone, the harder it is for you to make them your enemy.
Here is another question—what if we really don’t love the poor, the oppressed, and the forgotten? Perhaps we can lean to love them by working backwards to understand their substance, hopes, thoughts, and struggles, as well as the blessings of their lives. Maybe in coming to understand these things by living in solidarity with the poor we may come to love them and to see that those who were once our enemies are now people we love with a love that is both “invincible” and “ardent.” If we do this, how can we possibly be the same?
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Miss Mary, Teacher Mary, Gloria and Otis
On my first day at Catholic Charities Immigration and Refugee Assistance (from here on referred to as Refugee Resettlement), I got a tour of both the office and the ESL (English as a Second Language) school that’s in a different building than the one I work in. I’m very excited to be working at Refugee Resettlement and, overall, I had a good first day. I truly believe that Refugee Resettlement does a good job with the limited resources it has and that the employees really care about the clients and about what they’re doing. However, there were a few things that stuck out to me and bothered me on the first day.
Here is a reflection I wrote on my first day:
Today I was introduced to a couple of ESL classes. Two of the classes were the lower-level classes in the main office and one of them was at the Herkimer school where the mid and upper level classes are held.
I was introduced to the first two classes as “Miss Mary.” This made me uncomfortable for a couple of reasons. For one, I think it sounds funny: I’m all about alliteration, but Miss Mary doesn’t sound good to me. Also, I don’t really like “Miss” for myself in general—I prefer Ms. However, the biggest reason it made me uncomfortable was that I was introduced to them and told to call them by their first names while they were using “Miss” for me as a sign of respect. In my opinion, there is no need for the higher level I’m put on simply by the title I’m given. I have great respect for our clients as people and for all they’ve seen, experienced, and gone through (and are still going through), so why should they call me “Miss” while I call them by their first names?
At the Herkimer school I was introduced as “Teacher Mary,” which makes no sense at all because I’m not a teacher. At least “Miss Mary” is accurate.
The actual teacher of the ESL class asked me to photocopy some pages out of a workbook, which I was happy to do. While waiting for the pages to be copied, I flipped through the workbook and looked at the illustrations that went along with the exercises. I wasn’t particularly surprised by what I found in the book, but that didn’t make it any less disturbing.
There were about a dozen characters that were used consistently throughout the book. All but two of these characters were white. The exceptions to the white rule were Gloria and her boyfriend, Otis. There wasn’t even the infamous “Juan” who shows up so often in the word problem sections of math books. Now, I know that there are no doubt white people somewhere in an ESL class, but not in this particular class and I’m guessing that white people are a tiny minority of the students who use this book. The people in this ESL class are from Sudan, Burma/Myanmar, Bhutan, Somalia, Iraq, and the Congo—no one in the text books looks like the students in the class (not even Gloria and Otis).
There was another problem with the workbook: the main activities that women were depicted doing were cooking, shopping, talking on the phone, and serving men while the main things the men did were working, playing various sports, eating the food the women prepared for them, and fixing things around the house. In one, Otis drops by Gloria’s house and valiantly saves her from having to paint her living room and THEN he even takes her out on a date. What a guy.
This book’s copyright is either 2007 or 2008, I can’t remember.
I would think that an ESL book would have characters that looked like the students who were using the books. I also think it would be more helpful for the pictures to depict people applying for jobs, taking their children to school, going the post office, using public transportation, and other things new immigrants and refugees are likely to do.
Here is a reflection I wrote on my first day:
Today I was introduced to a couple of ESL classes. Two of the classes were the lower-level classes in the main office and one of them was at the Herkimer school where the mid and upper level classes are held.
I was introduced to the first two classes as “Miss Mary.” This made me uncomfortable for a couple of reasons. For one, I think it sounds funny: I’m all about alliteration, but Miss Mary doesn’t sound good to me. Also, I don’t really like “Miss” for myself in general—I prefer Ms. However, the biggest reason it made me uncomfortable was that I was introduced to them and told to call them by their first names while they were using “Miss” for me as a sign of respect. In my opinion, there is no need for the higher level I’m put on simply by the title I’m given. I have great respect for our clients as people and for all they’ve seen, experienced, and gone through (and are still going through), so why should they call me “Miss” while I call them by their first names?
At the Herkimer school I was introduced as “Teacher Mary,” which makes no sense at all because I’m not a teacher. At least “Miss Mary” is accurate.
The actual teacher of the ESL class asked me to photocopy some pages out of a workbook, which I was happy to do. While waiting for the pages to be copied, I flipped through the workbook and looked at the illustrations that went along with the exercises. I wasn’t particularly surprised by what I found in the book, but that didn’t make it any less disturbing.
There were about a dozen characters that were used consistently throughout the book. All but two of these characters were white. The exceptions to the white rule were Gloria and her boyfriend, Otis. There wasn’t even the infamous “Juan” who shows up so often in the word problem sections of math books. Now, I know that there are no doubt white people somewhere in an ESL class, but not in this particular class and I’m guessing that white people are a tiny minority of the students who use this book. The people in this ESL class are from Sudan, Burma/Myanmar, Bhutan, Somalia, Iraq, and the Congo—no one in the text books looks like the students in the class (not even Gloria and Otis).
There was another problem with the workbook: the main activities that women were depicted doing were cooking, shopping, talking on the phone, and serving men while the main things the men did were working, playing various sports, eating the food the women prepared for them, and fixing things around the house. In one, Otis drops by Gloria’s house and valiantly saves her from having to paint her living room and THEN he even takes her out on a date. What a guy.
This book’s copyright is either 2007 or 2008, I can’t remember.
I would think that an ESL book would have characters that looked like the students who were using the books. I also think it would be more helpful for the pictures to depict people applying for jobs, taking their children to school, going the post office, using public transportation, and other things new immigrants and refugees are likely to do.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Back to the Future
Well, the technology fast is over and I feel like celebrating. The only problem is that my computer is broken. I cannot even turn my computer on, so it is now in the shop. Right now I'm using a computer that belongs to one of my community members. I suppose I'm going to be doing technology fast extended edition.
I don't often personify objects, but--like so many computers--mine seems to have a mind of its own that practically demands personification. Right now, I believe my computer was so upset over my neglect that it broke itself.
Computer problems aside, my first month and a half of CCSC has been a wonderful experience. I like my community, I like my house (expect for the bathroom door that doesn't close and a few other old house quirks), I like my job, and I like Buffalo--though I'm reserving my final judgement until March or whenever winter ends here.
It's hard to reflect much on what has happened so far because it's still the beginning and I've been very busy. However, there are a few things I've learned that I'd like to share.
1) A surprise--being open and sharing isn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. When talking to Amy, the CCSC director, she suggested that learning to be open and sharing myself with others was the next step that I was about to take in my personal development with or without CCSC. I think she may be right, but I also think coming here to volunteer and live in community with other volunteers has helped me with this piece of my personal growth and development.
2) It's really nice to jog outside in a park and smile and say hello to people instead of be so absorbed in the music on my ipod that I hardly notice what's going on around me. Also, other people who are walking and jogging without ipods usually smile and say hello back while people with ipods tend to look the other way.
3) On to work matters--getting a green card seems simple enough, but it isn't and it takes a very long time (four months minimum).
4) If you give children paper and markers, they will write on the table.
5) Walking is a perfectly acceptable mode of transportation and a good way to unwind from as stressful day so that I can be pleasant when I come home to my community members.
6) USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) loves numbers. LOVES. There are immigration numbers, social security numbers, arrival numbers, employment code numbers, alien numbers, case numbers, and on and on and on.
7) People of nearly every culture are responsive to a smile and complements about their children.
8) A lot of people wait until the first day of school to register their children for school even when they've had since January (and I'm not talking about refugees).
9) Don't agree to help a co-worker without knowing what exactly you'll be doing. You might end up waiting in long lines on the first day of school to register children and everyone will look at you funny because even though you look like you're twenty-two you seem to have six children (and one of them is 16).
10) Hide the candy.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Preparations: Panicking About the Technology Fast
I’m very worried about this technology fast.
At first, I wasn’t worried because I grew up in a house without a TV and I don’t use my cell phone much (weird, I know). I am pretty attached to my computer and the internet (especially facebook), but I really don’t think I’ll miss it much. My big worry is being without my ipod.
I love music. I’ve always loved music—both listening to and participating in music. I was in choral, band, concert choir, and musicals in high school. To me, one of the most important parts of the Mass is the music, and I often judge a church on how good its music is. Music relaxes me, lifts my mood, makes me want to dance, and distracts me from problems in my life.
It’s the distracting that is the whole reason behind this technology fast: the whole point of the technology fast is to be present in the moment to ourselves (what we’re thinking and feeling), learning to live simply and recognize the difference between needs and wants, to get to know our community instead of staying in such close contact with people who aren’t there, and to the other people in our community.
As my sister, Laura, and my roommate from my senior year at Salem, Jane, can attest, I am addicted to the music of Tegan and Sara. I feely admit I’m addicted and I warned Jane not long after we moved in. Fortunately, Jane likes T+S too—or at least she did (it’s very possible she got sick of them and now hates them, I don’t know). In the past two years or so I don’t think I’ve gone more than two or three days without listening to T+S music.
I’m not sure what it is about their music, but on a good day it makes me feel even happier, and almost without fail helps me feel better on a bad day—even if only a little bit. I have a playlist on my ipod called “feel better” that I listen to when I’m stressed out, angry, or sad. On this playlist are the songs that give me comfort or can always make me feel better, and of the 60 songs on this playlist, 24 are Tegan and Sara songs.
Long before I was a Tegan and Sara fan (and that was a long time ago since I started listening to them in high school), music has been a sort of lifeline for me—as I know it is for many people, particularly teenagers. I honestly don’t know what it will be like to go a month and a half without my ipod.
I’m not trying to be overdramatic—I know I’ll survive a month and a half without music. However, I do anticipate that the first month is likely to be one of the most challenging months this year and the time when I will most want to have Tegan and Sara handy.
In the past few years, I’ve become very good at finding the positive in most situations, and--outside of the obvious possible positive effects of the technology fast (simplifying my life, being present in the moment, getting to know my community and participating in community instead of people I’m not with or locking myself in my room with my music, etc.)--once the first month plus some weeks are over and I can have my ipod I’ll probably appreciate my music even more. After all, we all know distance makes the heart grow fonder.
At first, I wasn’t worried because I grew up in a house without a TV and I don’t use my cell phone much (weird, I know). I am pretty attached to my computer and the internet (especially facebook), but I really don’t think I’ll miss it much. My big worry is being without my ipod.
I love music. I’ve always loved music—both listening to and participating in music. I was in choral, band, concert choir, and musicals in high school. To me, one of the most important parts of the Mass is the music, and I often judge a church on how good its music is. Music relaxes me, lifts my mood, makes me want to dance, and distracts me from problems in my life.
It’s the distracting that is the whole reason behind this technology fast: the whole point of the technology fast is to be present in the moment to ourselves (what we’re thinking and feeling), learning to live simply and recognize the difference between needs and wants, to get to know our community instead of staying in such close contact with people who aren’t there, and to the other people in our community.
As my sister, Laura, and my roommate from my senior year at Salem, Jane, can attest, I am addicted to the music of Tegan and Sara. I feely admit I’m addicted and I warned Jane not long after we moved in. Fortunately, Jane likes T+S too—or at least she did (it’s very possible she got sick of them and now hates them, I don’t know). In the past two years or so I don’t think I’ve gone more than two or three days without listening to T+S music.
I’m not sure what it is about their music, but on a good day it makes me feel even happier, and almost without fail helps me feel better on a bad day—even if only a little bit. I have a playlist on my ipod called “feel better” that I listen to when I’m stressed out, angry, or sad. On this playlist are the songs that give me comfort or can always make me feel better, and of the 60 songs on this playlist, 24 are Tegan and Sara songs.
Long before I was a Tegan and Sara fan (and that was a long time ago since I started listening to them in high school), music has been a sort of lifeline for me—as I know it is for many people, particularly teenagers. I honestly don’t know what it will be like to go a month and a half without my ipod.
I’m not trying to be overdramatic—I know I’ll survive a month and a half without music. However, I do anticipate that the first month is likely to be one of the most challenging months this year and the time when I will most want to have Tegan and Sara handy.
In the past few years, I’ve become very good at finding the positive in most situations, and--outside of the obvious possible positive effects of the technology fast (simplifying my life, being present in the moment, getting to know my community and participating in community instead of people I’m not with or locking myself in my room with my music, etc.)--once the first month plus some weeks are over and I can have my ipod I’ll probably appreciate my music even more. After all, we all know distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The Reading List, part 2
I’ve already written about the books I’ve read this summer that are on the reading list CCSC sent me. In this post I’ll write about the books I’ve read that are not in the CCSC list.
When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
This book has been a good distraction/break from some of the other things I’ve been reading and thinking about. Even though this book is pretty dark at times, Sedaris has the ability to write about unfunny things in hilarious ways and the darkness is nothing compared to genocide. What do I think I’ll bring from this for my year of service? Not much, but if I ever become so stressed out that I’m tempted to start smoking (not that likely) I can think about how Sedaris describes the hotels/hotel rooms where smokers can stay, and, since I like traveling, I’m sure the temptation will pass quickly.
Feminist Theory: the Intellectual Traditions of American Feminism by Josephine Donovan
I’m somewhat familiar with the modern feminist movement and modern feminist ideas, but I didn’t have a lot of knowledge about feminist theory. I’ve only really started paying attention to women’s issues and feminism for a few years and have only considered myself a feminist for about a year and a half. I paid no attention in my Women’s Studies class my first year of college (it was a three hour class on a Monday night that was taught by a monotone professor and there were a lot of annoying people in the class, what can I say?) and I hate to admit it, but I really didn’t care.
I chose this particular book because it seemed like it was a good basic overview, but mostly because it was $0.01 on Amazon. It turned out to be a good choice. I really enjoyed the book because it was so informative and gave me a lot to think about. Also, I think I can take a lot from this book—and feminism in general—and apply it to my year of service.
Feminism can be applied to almost anything that involves women, and whenever a group is oppressed or marginalized, the women of that group have it even worse than the men because not only are they faced with whatever form the oppression takes from their oppressors, but they are also faced with sexism from their oppressors and from within their own group. In addition, rape is almost always a huge component of current conflict in areas such as the Democratic Republic of Congo and Darfur and other attacks on groups of people that force them to be refugees.
I know that I will have to be very conscientious in my work of many, many cultural differences and among these differences is the treatment and status of women. Interestingly, women from two of the countries that a large number of the refugees are coming from this year—Burma (Myanmar) and Bhutan—have traditionally had nearly as high standing as men. However, under their current oppressive governments (a military junta in the case of Burma), the role and value of women significantly decreased.
The Journals of Judge Edward Godfrey, Vol. 2 1870-1877
I read this for my internship at the Bangor Historical Society and Museum. I doubt there is much here I can apply to my year of service—even less than in David Sedaris’ book. This book is VERY boring, and also pretty creepy because Godfrey—who was in his sixties—mostly kept the company of high school girls. Every time he mentioned a woman or girl he also mentioned if they were attractive or unattractive and if he considers them to be a lady. In addition, he included some pretty sexist poetry he’d written and published in the local newspaper (one about how society was allowing women to turn into men). He eventually married a woman who was 24 and when he was 67 (he’d been “courting” her since she was 18 and still in high school).
When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
This book has been a good distraction/break from some of the other things I’ve been reading and thinking about. Even though this book is pretty dark at times, Sedaris has the ability to write about unfunny things in hilarious ways and the darkness is nothing compared to genocide. What do I think I’ll bring from this for my year of service? Not much, but if I ever become so stressed out that I’m tempted to start smoking (not that likely) I can think about how Sedaris describes the hotels/hotel rooms where smokers can stay, and, since I like traveling, I’m sure the temptation will pass quickly.
Feminist Theory: the Intellectual Traditions of American Feminism by Josephine Donovan
I’m somewhat familiar with the modern feminist movement and modern feminist ideas, but I didn’t have a lot of knowledge about feminist theory. I’ve only really started paying attention to women’s issues and feminism for a few years and have only considered myself a feminist for about a year and a half. I paid no attention in my Women’s Studies class my first year of college (it was a three hour class on a Monday night that was taught by a monotone professor and there were a lot of annoying people in the class, what can I say?) and I hate to admit it, but I really didn’t care.
I chose this particular book because it seemed like it was a good basic overview, but mostly because it was $0.01 on Amazon. It turned out to be a good choice. I really enjoyed the book because it was so informative and gave me a lot to think about. Also, I think I can take a lot from this book—and feminism in general—and apply it to my year of service.
Feminism can be applied to almost anything that involves women, and whenever a group is oppressed or marginalized, the women of that group have it even worse than the men because not only are they faced with whatever form the oppression takes from their oppressors, but they are also faced with sexism from their oppressors and from within their own group. In addition, rape is almost always a huge component of current conflict in areas such as the Democratic Republic of Congo and Darfur and other attacks on groups of people that force them to be refugees.
I know that I will have to be very conscientious in my work of many, many cultural differences and among these differences is the treatment and status of women. Interestingly, women from two of the countries that a large number of the refugees are coming from this year—Burma (Myanmar) and Bhutan—have traditionally had nearly as high standing as men. However, under their current oppressive governments (a military junta in the case of Burma), the role and value of women significantly decreased.
The Journals of Judge Edward Godfrey, Vol. 2 1870-1877
I read this for my internship at the Bangor Historical Society and Museum. I doubt there is much here I can apply to my year of service—even less than in David Sedaris’ book. This book is VERY boring, and also pretty creepy because Godfrey—who was in his sixties—mostly kept the company of high school girls. Every time he mentioned a woman or girl he also mentioned if they were attractive or unattractive and if he considers them to be a lady. In addition, he included some pretty sexist poetry he’d written and published in the local newspaper (one about how society was allowing women to turn into men). He eventually married a woman who was 24 and when he was 67 (he’d been “courting” her since she was 18 and still in high school).
Monday, August 2, 2010
Preparations: The Reading List, part 1
In preparation for my year of service, this summer I’ve been reading some books from a suggested reading list provided by Catholic Charities Service Corps (CCSC) along with some other books that I’ll post about later. The summer isn’t quite over yet, but here’s what I’ve read from the CCSC list so far:
Not On Our Watch: the Mission to End Genocide in Darfur and Beyond by Don Cheadle and John Prendergast
This book is particularly relevant to what I’ll be doing in my year of service since I’m working for refugee services. This book describes the horrifying genocide being carried out on the people of Darfur and the terrible conditions they face even after escaping to refugee camps. More than a description of genocide, it is a call to action to stop the genocide since our government basically isn’t doing anything. The authors write about finding a way out of apathy and different ways to pressure our government to take action.
This book was as disturbing as it was supposed to be and it took me a very long time to get through it because I could only read a little at a time of the parts about the victims of genocide (since it was so upsetting), and because the other parts of it tended to be pretty repetitive and boring. The fact that I have such a hard time finishing this kind of book—along with my not finishing the movie El Norte that was on the film list provided by CCSC—bothers me because I can’t simply walk away from or turn off the real people who have lived through these horrors that I will be serving. I think it’s possible that my empathy for people who are oppressed and marginalized—which was one of the driving factors in my decision to do a year of service—may make the work more challenging for me.
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer
I really liked most of what this book had to say about not trying live your life as you think you “ought” to, but instead listening to yourself and knowing your strengths and weaknesses so you can live and do what God intended for you. As it relates to my year of service, I’d been thinking about doing a year of service for a really long time because I thought I “ought” to do something good and because my parents encouraged me to do so (or nagged, whichever you like better). However, I didn’t actually start seriously looking into a year of service until I felt the “call” for myself. That being said, there are plenty of things I’ve done because I think I “ought” to do them, and not because I really want to or feel called to do.
Also interesting was Palmer’s emphasis on living your personal “truth” even when it isn’t the same as what society accepts. He says the prison you create for yourself in the “half-life” you live by living a divided life is worse than how society will punish you. I don’t think this is true all the time, but it’s interesting to think about. Personally, I have a hard time sharing and rarely share my “truth” even when there is little to no chance of “punishment.”
I did have one major problem with this book: in order to do most of the things Palmer suggests to hear and respond to the call of your true vocation (which he says each person must do), the person following these steps would have to be at least somewhat privileged. Most anyone who is willing to put in the time/effort/emotional energy to examine their inner workings and inner truth can find it, but not everyone can just stop whatever they’re doing at the moment and follow their true “vocation.” For example, what if someone is called to be a nurse, but s/he doesn’t have the education and cannot afford to go back to school because they’re working two jobs to support their family? What if you are simply trying to survive? All of this isn’t Palmer’s fault, of course; however, he doesn’t even acknowledge his place of privilege. Also, in some cases there are much bigger obstacles than the “self” or “ego,” as Palmer calls it, standing in the way of discovering personal truth and then following that truth.
Another VERY SUPER SERIOUS problem I had was that Palmer makes the egregious mistake of using exclamation points liberally (sometimes as many as two or three a page). Not only is this annoying, but he’s also breaking an important writing rule: every writer is allowed only three published exclamation points in their entire career as a writer. Clearly, Palmer is in some serious exclamation point debt after the first chapter of this book alone.
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
I’m sure the ideas in this book will come in handy over the next year and, really, the rest of my life. I think the world would be a much better place if everyone spoke respectfully, really listened to what their personal feelings and needs are, could communicate those feelings/needs, and listened to the feelings/needs of others without judging. It’s not very realistic—especially if not everyone who is communicating is using this guide to nonviolent communication—but I think even if I’m only able to consistently adopt an aspect or two of nonviolent communication as described in this book I’ll be a better communicator.
Making a Living While Making a Difference: A Guide to Creating Careers with a Conscience by Melissa Everett
So, I’m not finished with this book (I’m about half-way through), but I thought I’d write about it anyway. Everett makes a good point in this book that in order to make a positive difference in the world, you don’t have to have one of the careers that people typically think of when thinking about what makes a difference such as being a doctor, teacher, social worker, environmental activist, etc. This book is about looking “outside the box” and figuring out how you can make a difference using the skills, experience, and interests you already have. There are exercises, questions, and worksheets in this book to help you recognize and name your skills, relevant experience, and interests. Parts of this book are a bit boring, but I think it will ultimately be worth reading, especially while discerning what I want to do after my year of service to continue serving others and making a positive difference in the world.
Not On Our Watch: the Mission to End Genocide in Darfur and Beyond by Don Cheadle and John Prendergast
This book is particularly relevant to what I’ll be doing in my year of service since I’m working for refugee services. This book describes the horrifying genocide being carried out on the people of Darfur and the terrible conditions they face even after escaping to refugee camps. More than a description of genocide, it is a call to action to stop the genocide since our government basically isn’t doing anything. The authors write about finding a way out of apathy and different ways to pressure our government to take action.
This book was as disturbing as it was supposed to be and it took me a very long time to get through it because I could only read a little at a time of the parts about the victims of genocide (since it was so upsetting), and because the other parts of it tended to be pretty repetitive and boring. The fact that I have such a hard time finishing this kind of book—along with my not finishing the movie El Norte that was on the film list provided by CCSC—bothers me because I can’t simply walk away from or turn off the real people who have lived through these horrors that I will be serving. I think it’s possible that my empathy for people who are oppressed and marginalized—which was one of the driving factors in my decision to do a year of service—may make the work more challenging for me.
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer
I really liked most of what this book had to say about not trying live your life as you think you “ought” to, but instead listening to yourself and knowing your strengths and weaknesses so you can live and do what God intended for you. As it relates to my year of service, I’d been thinking about doing a year of service for a really long time because I thought I “ought” to do something good and because my parents encouraged me to do so (or nagged, whichever you like better). However, I didn’t actually start seriously looking into a year of service until I felt the “call” for myself. That being said, there are plenty of things I’ve done because I think I “ought” to do them, and not because I really want to or feel called to do.
Also interesting was Palmer’s emphasis on living your personal “truth” even when it isn’t the same as what society accepts. He says the prison you create for yourself in the “half-life” you live by living a divided life is worse than how society will punish you. I don’t think this is true all the time, but it’s interesting to think about. Personally, I have a hard time sharing and rarely share my “truth” even when there is little to no chance of “punishment.”
I did have one major problem with this book: in order to do most of the things Palmer suggests to hear and respond to the call of your true vocation (which he says each person must do), the person following these steps would have to be at least somewhat privileged. Most anyone who is willing to put in the time/effort/emotional energy to examine their inner workings and inner truth can find it, but not everyone can just stop whatever they’re doing at the moment and follow their true “vocation.” For example, what if someone is called to be a nurse, but s/he doesn’t have the education and cannot afford to go back to school because they’re working two jobs to support their family? What if you are simply trying to survive? All of this isn’t Palmer’s fault, of course; however, he doesn’t even acknowledge his place of privilege. Also, in some cases there are much bigger obstacles than the “self” or “ego,” as Palmer calls it, standing in the way of discovering personal truth and then following that truth.
Another VERY SUPER SERIOUS problem I had was that Palmer makes the egregious mistake of using exclamation points liberally (sometimes as many as two or three a page). Not only is this annoying, but he’s also breaking an important writing rule: every writer is allowed only three published exclamation points in their entire career as a writer. Clearly, Palmer is in some serious exclamation point debt after the first chapter of this book alone.
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
I’m sure the ideas in this book will come in handy over the next year and, really, the rest of my life. I think the world would be a much better place if everyone spoke respectfully, really listened to what their personal feelings and needs are, could communicate those feelings/needs, and listened to the feelings/needs of others without judging. It’s not very realistic—especially if not everyone who is communicating is using this guide to nonviolent communication—but I think even if I’m only able to consistently adopt an aspect or two of nonviolent communication as described in this book I’ll be a better communicator.
Making a Living While Making a Difference: A Guide to Creating Careers with a Conscience by Melissa Everett
So, I’m not finished with this book (I’m about half-way through), but I thought I’d write about it anyway. Everett makes a good point in this book that in order to make a positive difference in the world, you don’t have to have one of the careers that people typically think of when thinking about what makes a difference such as being a doctor, teacher, social worker, environmental activist, etc. This book is about looking “outside the box” and figuring out how you can make a difference using the skills, experience, and interests you already have. There are exercises, questions, and worksheets in this book to help you recognize and name your skills, relevant experience, and interests. Parts of this book are a bit boring, but I think it will ultimately be worth reading, especially while discerning what I want to do after my year of service to continue serving others and making a positive difference in the world.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
CCSC Video
This video isn't super-exciting, but it's pretty informative about Catholic Charities Service Corps and the purpose of a year of service. If you really want to find out about the program of CCSC, this video is really helpful.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
About Experiment in Sharing
I’ve decided to start a blog—something I’ve actually been opposed to doing for a long time—to chronicle my year of service (August 2010 to August 2011). I have some reservations about blogging (and I think I should disclose right now that I almost never read blogs and I have no idea what I’m doing), but I think it’s important to have a record of this year. In addition to recording the events of this year, I want to have a way to share my experiences with a large number of family members and friends, I want to let others know what a year of service could be like and potentially encourage them to look into doing service, and I will hopefully bring some attention—however small—to different issues I care about.
I’m calling this blog “Experiment in Sharing” because I typically don’t share my personal experiences and feelings with many people. Sharing in so public a way is new for me and I don’t know how it’s going to work out.
This whole year is an experiment, an adventure, and a challenge in many ways and one of my experiments is sharing. Not only will I be sharing my experiences on the internet for any random internet user to read, but I’ll also be sharing myself with those I live in community with and those I work with. Since I’m living in community with other volunteers, I’ll be sharing space (though this isn’t new since I’ve never lived alone and I always had a roommate in college), but more than sharing space, every week the community meets to discuss things such as spirituality and our experiences at our work sites. I’m sure we’ll be sharing our thoughts, feelings, fears, doubts, etc, and this is the kind of sharing that will be the real experiment—and challenge—for me.
I’m sure some topics I’m likely to write about are spirituality, living in community, my work (I’ll be working for Catholic Charities’ Immigration and Refugee Services), health, social justice, the environment, feminism, equality, Catholicism, books, things I learn from the people I live with and the people I’m serving, and I’m sure many other topics I can’t yet anticipate.
I intend for this to be an intelligent, thoughtful, and honest blog, and I hope that people will give me constructive critical feedback if I’m really missing something or if this blog becomes something else.
A few disclaimers:
For the first month of this year, I’ll be participating in a technology fast (no computer, cell phone, TV, ipod, etc.), so I won’t be posting during that month. After the first month, I may not post very frequently because I won’t have internet access at home.
I also want to apologize in advance for any errors because I’ve found I’m blind to errors in my writing until I print it off and read it in hard copy and I don’t plan on doing that before I post things.
So, thank you for sharing this experiment with me—I hope it’s a successful one for all.
I’m calling this blog “Experiment in Sharing” because I typically don’t share my personal experiences and feelings with many people. Sharing in so public a way is new for me and I don’t know how it’s going to work out.
This whole year is an experiment, an adventure, and a challenge in many ways and one of my experiments is sharing. Not only will I be sharing my experiences on the internet for any random internet user to read, but I’ll also be sharing myself with those I live in community with and those I work with. Since I’m living in community with other volunteers, I’ll be sharing space (though this isn’t new since I’ve never lived alone and I always had a roommate in college), but more than sharing space, every week the community meets to discuss things such as spirituality and our experiences at our work sites. I’m sure we’ll be sharing our thoughts, feelings, fears, doubts, etc, and this is the kind of sharing that will be the real experiment—and challenge—for me.
I’m sure some topics I’m likely to write about are spirituality, living in community, my work (I’ll be working for Catholic Charities’ Immigration and Refugee Services), health, social justice, the environment, feminism, equality, Catholicism, books, things I learn from the people I live with and the people I’m serving, and I’m sure many other topics I can’t yet anticipate.
I intend for this to be an intelligent, thoughtful, and honest blog, and I hope that people will give me constructive critical feedback if I’m really missing something or if this blog becomes something else.
A few disclaimers:
For the first month of this year, I’ll be participating in a technology fast (no computer, cell phone, TV, ipod, etc.), so I won’t be posting during that month. After the first month, I may not post very frequently because I won’t have internet access at home.
I also want to apologize in advance for any errors because I’ve found I’m blind to errors in my writing until I print it off and read it in hard copy and I don’t plan on doing that before I post things.
So, thank you for sharing this experiment with me—I hope it’s a successful one for all.
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